the outcome is near....

in a few hours, tomorrow, i'll probably know whether my mission trip to thailand will be approved or not....
and whatever the outcome may be, i'll gladly accept it. for it must've been God's plan and will for me not to go this year....for he knows. i may not even be spiritually ready, he knows im weak, therefore he wants me to be even more prepared for the next.

However, i did not felt so previously. the thought that i might not be able to go for missions affected me badly. even when ade told me that there may not be any space left, i began to worry. for i was quite certain that once the approval is in, i'll be going. however, the thought that even if i had the approval, i wouldn't be able to go made things worse.

i wanted to go for missions badly, i want to experience God's works and miracles in thailand first hand. and see it with my own eyes, feel it with my own heart.

i even began to let these feelings and thoughts to affect me. i even began to question God's plan for me. and had this feeling of bitterness. at this, i was already joining hands with satan ! but i didn't realise this. i was slowly giving in to his lies, even begining to obey his words.

i tried to do quiet time, but i was just so hard. i talked to ade about it. which i felt thankful that i did. and we managed to salvage the situation.she brought me to my senses. even telling me that even though i may not be able to go to the frontline, i'll still have a part here in Singapore by even raising funds, and even praying for them. we prayed, it worked and before i did my quiet time i prayed to God to even show me what he wants to teach me and tell me from that quiet time...

and God answered ! and this was what i got....

Luke 1:34-37:
Mary asked the angel, "But how can this happen? I am a virgin."
The angel replied, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. What's more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she's now in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God."

from this, i realised. God's word never fails. and nothing is ever impossible for God. even Mary, as a vigin, she could conceive. even elizabeth, which was barren, could conceive. and all these were made possible thru God ! i realised that even if there was no space left, if God wills for me to go, he'll provide a way ! ultimately, the decision lies on God.

also...

Luke 3:15-18:
Everyone was expecting the Messiah to come soon, and they were eager to know whether John might be the Messiah. John answered their questions by saying, "I baptize you with water; but someone is coming soon who is greater than I am - so much greater that I'm not even worthy to be his slave and untie the straps of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. He is ready to separate the chaff from the wheat with his winnowing fork. Then he will clean up the threshing area, gathering the wheat into his barn but burning the chaff with never-ending fire." John used many such warnings as he announced the Good News to the people.

from this, i realised something. John even warned of the impending judgement. that those who refuse to be used by God will be discarded because they have no value in furthering God's work. BUT those who repent and believe. however, hold great value in God's eyes because they are the begining of a new life of productive service for him ! it has even reminded me to not be the chaff, but instead,be the wheat ! cause i know this new life i lead was bought at a cost, Christ's blood. that i should not even receive God's grace in vain, and even be useful for his works !

now, i finally understood that God's plan is perfect. his timing is always right. we'll just have to follow him obediently.

any part not understood, feel free to ask me.


*-kenric x) . 10:58pm . 22 November 2006