And I’m grindin till I’m tired
They say “You ain’t grindin’ till you tired”
So I’m grindin’ with my eyes wide
Looking to find a way through the day,
A light For the night.

Dear Lord you’ve done took so many of my people,
but I’m just wonderin’ why,
You haven’t taken my life?
Like what the hell am I doing right?

Drugs

& why is it so good?

- gives the user inner-peace

- allows user to have self-acceptance

- increased physical energy

- increased feelings of intimacy with others

- increased sense of security

& why is it so bad?

- brain damage

- dehydration

- hallucination leading to death

- organ intoxicator

- it is illegal

- causes disappointment to everyone around who cares about you.

- drains your money

GOOD or BAD?

YOU DECIDE.

Memoria.

So rarely I get to see your face,
Growing, I looked to you in guidance.
We knew that time would kill us,
but you're still so close to me, to my heart.

Ron & Jul
Thank You

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is...

Juliana.

* tout que je veux pour Noël est toi jul

. . . . . . . . . .

No longer can i hold onto this defeated change in heart,
i swear
It's time to sing "fare thee well" to life as we know it.
My voice it will be,
you know i will be,
yes it will be still
Something woke me up
in the midst of dream and fantasy.
Halfway there but He always fills my cup,
And He lifts me up oh how He lifts me up

I never took the time to stop and realize
that death takes many forms Even while alive

hot/cold
yes/no
in/out
up/down
wrong/right
black/white

KENRIC! 3:37 a.m. 7th December 2008.

*HOW?

Now we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed.

Then Fall Apart in Parts.

Luxuries.


Clothing is a luxury we have.
Housing is a luxuay we have.
Money is a luxury we have.
Family is a luxury we have.
Friends is a luxury we have.
Education is a luxury we have.
Entertainment is a luxury we have.

Time isn't. Time isn't. Time isn't.

Transition.

Here's something you guys out there might already know/might not know,

cos i've not really blogged about my current life recently.

1. i've withdrawn myself from ngee ann poly (avt) just about a month ago.

2. i'm currently working part-time to kill-time + earn extra bucks.

3. i'll be screwed if i dont get placement into a course in January 09's direct admission exercise.

4. cos i'll be turning 18 by march.

5. no placement = national service enlistment.

6. no diploma + stranded with an 0'level cert.

where can anyone fucking go anywhere with an o'level cert?

why did i withdraw? cos there were too many mathematic components which i couldn't really cope with ( in case you didn't know i suck at maths all along ).

and cos i'll be risking myself a dismissal from the institute if i had failed my repeat module ( in case you didn't know i failed a module ). i felt that i wouldn't have the heart to work for it, cos i see that the module is quite redundant and of low importance with respect of relavence to my course.

so basically, it all went down to my wrong choices of courses in this year's Joint Ad-fucking-missons exercise.

one fucking year wasted. one fucking year.

i felt that this was the best solution, afterall i did went thru much considerations....

weighing the consequences. this was the best bet i could take. the best bet. so now its either i land my butt in another course i like, or start getting called "recruit" and spend two fucking years of my life with the agony of having a good cert, but with nowhere to go (but tekong of course).

KENRIC! 12:40 p.m. 3rd December 2008.
* get rich, or die tryin'

Breathing.
(Lifehouse)

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel alive
And break these calluses off of me
One more time

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

We are all just prisoners here of our own device,
you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

Our eyes away from you girl when you get on the floor and do what you do
And everybody wanna come back to that bod and kind of remind myself I'm like you
you'rethe type that drive a man crazy and snatch him away from his lady
No matter how hard the man hold back he'll end up callin' you baby
And they never really know what to do once you expose that thang you do
Ya had him crawlin' on hands and knees and ya find a way to get him out that cheese
And why ya thinkin' that you the only dude she off in the mall livin' off of you
Lettin' everybody know she got you but now you feel like a fool

0308Hrs - 10Nov08

In this world of ours,
everything changes.

some choose to refuse,
some choose to accept,
I chose to adapt.

Some things are hard to let go,
some facts are hard to accept,
yes they are, but fear not.

screw the past and present,
or risk having both screwing you.

in the meantime,
fake it till you make it !

Live your Life.

Nevermind what haters say, ignore em 'til they fade away.
Amazing they un-greatful after all the game I gave away.
Safe to say I paid the way, for you cats to get paid today.
You'd still be wasting days away, now had I never saved the day.
Consider them my protégé, homage I think they should pay.
Instead of being gracious, they violate in a major way.
I never been a hater still I love them in a crazy way.

Some say they sold yah and no they couldn't even work on Labor day.
It aint that they black or white, their hands in areas the shades of grey.
I'm West side anyway, even if I left today and stayed away.
Some move away to make a way not move away cause they afraid.

I brought back to the hood and all you ever did was take away.
I pray for patience but they make me want to melt their face away.
Like I once made them spray, now I could make em put the k's away.
Been thuggin' all my life, can't say I don't deserve to take a break.
your would rather see me catch a case and watch my future fade away.

I'm the opposite of moderate, immaculately polished with the spirit of a hustler and the swagger of a college kid.
Allergic to the counterfeit, impartial to the politics.
Articulate but still I'll grab a nigga by the collar quick.
Whoever having problems with their record sales just holla 'tip.
If that don't work and all else fails, then turn around and follow 'tip.
I got love for the game but ay I'm not in love with all of it.
Could do without the fame and rappers nowadays are comically.
The hootin' and the hollerin', back and forth with the arguing.

Where you from, who you know, what you make and what kind of car you in.
Seems as though you lost sight of whats important when depositing them checks into your bank account and you up out of poverty.
Your values is in disarray, prioritizing horribly.
Unhappy with the riches cause you piss poor morally.
Ignoring all prior advice and fore warning.
And we mighty full of ourselves all of a sudden, aren't we?

Got everybody watchin what I do
Come walk in my shoes
And see the way I'm livin if you really want to
Got my mind on my money
And I'm not goin nowhere
So keep on gettin your paper
And keep on climbing
Look in the mirror and keep on shinin.

Till the game ends, till the clock stops
We gon' post up on the top spot
Livin the life, the life
In a brand new city got my whole team with me
The life, my life
I do what I wanna do
I'm livin my life, my life
I will never lose, I'm livin my life, my life
And I'm not stopping

So live your life!

ESTJ - The "Overseer"

ESTJs are responsible, logical, norm-following hard workers. Their efforts are carried out in a practical, structured manner. ESTJs trust facts and experiences more than theories. They are decisive, loyal, tradition observing individuals. They enjoy being the person in charge and often make good supervisors.


Famous ESTJs

Andrew Jackson - American President
Bette Davis - actress
Carrie Nation - advocate
Elliot Ness - prohibition agent
George W. Bush - American President
Grover Cleveland - American President
James Monroe - American President
John D. Rockefeller - industrialist, philanthropist
Lyndon B. Johnson - American President
Pat Summit - basketball coach
Rev. Billy Graham - evangelist, writer
Robert A. Taft - Governor of Ohio
Sam Walton - founder of Wal-Mart
William Henry Harrison - American President

ESTJ Career Matches

ESTJs are often happy with the following jobs which tend to match well with the Overseer/Protector personality.

Accountant
Auditor
Banker
Business Administrator
Business Analyst
Computer Specialist
Detective
Economist
Editor
Engineer
Financial Officer
Government Worker
Insurance Agent
Judge
Lecturer
Librarian
Manager
Marketer
Military Leader
Nursing Administrator
Police
Researcher
Sales Representative
Scientist
Senior Manager
Teacher
Teacher/Professor
Technical Specialist
Underwriter
Writer

Regrets.

I don't have nothing to regret at all in the past, except that I might've unintentionally hurt somebody else or something.
-Jimi Hendrix

Perfection is such a nuisance that I often regret having cured myself of using tobacco.
-Emile Zola

Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy, you can't build on it it's only good for wallowing in.
-Katherine Mansfield

Uncertainty is the worst of all evils until the moment when reality makes us regret uncertainty.
-Alphonse Karr

The past is a great place and I don't want to erase it or to regret it, but I don't want to be its prisoner either.
-Mick Jagger

I don't regret anything I ever do or say. I don't like to live my life being censored. I like to say what I feel, and I think people respect that because you're honest.
-Eva Longoria

I do not regret one moment of my life.
-Lillie Langtry

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
-Jonathan Larson

I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences... I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else.
-Queen Latifah

Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.
-C. S. Lewis

No, I regret nothing, all I regret is having been born, dying is such a long tiresome business I always found.
-Samuel Beckett

To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.
-Bodhidharma

In looking back, I see nothing to regret and little to correct.
-John C. Calhoun

I took pleasure when I could. I acted clearly and morally and without regret. I'm very lucky.
-Jeanne Calment

If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.
-Jim Carrey

I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do.
-Rory Cochrane

Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle, Old Age a regret.
-Benjamin Disraeli

KENRIC! 1:27 p.m. 6th November 2008.

* I live without regrets and never will I. Even if there were any, i'd still refuse to accept them. Afterall i'm still savouring every last bit of the life i live.
- Kenric

Giving up, why should I?
I've come to far to forget.
We're beautiful, we just got lost,
Somewhere along the way.
So much was missing when you went away.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
-Kurt Cobain .

Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine.
- Elvis Presley

From the time I was a kid, I always knew something was going to happen to me. Didn't know exactly what.
- Elvis Presley

Rock and roll music, if you like it, if you feel it, you can't help but move to it. That's what happens to me. I can't help it.'
- Elvis Presley

Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away.
- Elvis Presley

Holidays Aug-Oct'08.

been workin'
yes and everytime i do, it gives me new realizations about life.

this one made me tell myself stuffs like :

" i'm gonna make sure this goddamn son of a gun will be the one you're serving 10/15 years down the road. " ( at some point in time of my current life, some of you pathetic asses already are....anyways)
And
" that's not what i wanna be"
Or
" that's what i'm gonna be, only better. "

i don't blame anyone for their harsh / ill treatment during my course of employment. it was my choice to take up the job, and i don't really mind anyways. Furthermore, i could could use some "extra pocket money" and yea, learn some lessons about life.

KENRIC! 4:19 p.m. 11th October 2008.

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
- Erma Bombeck

Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions.
- Edgar Cayce

If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.
- Les Brown

I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.
- M. C. Escher

Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together.
- Eugene Ionesco

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.
- Thomas E. Lawrence

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

In dreams begins responsibility.
- William Butler Yeats

& Goodbye
by Plankeye.

It's difficult to say goodbye after only one life
The rain will fall down replenishing all of our broken dreams
And this burning tree that's withering will bloom again
Would you believe?

Goodbye, goodbye
Walk away it's time to say goodbye

Now all that's left
Pictures on the walls
Memories and stories that are told
The more often told the bigger they get
Create a legacy lest we forget

Goodbye, goodbye
Walk away it's time to say goodbye

No longer can I hold onto this defeated change in heart
I swear.
It's time to sing "fare thee well" to life as we know it

My voice it will be,
You know I will be,
Yes it will be still

Something woke me up in the midst of dream and fantasy
Halfway there but He always fills my cup
And He lifts me up oh how He lifts me up

Goodbye, goodbye
Walk away it's time to say goodbye

I never took the time
To stop and realize
That death takes many forms
Even while alive

(inverted commas)

" Happy Anniversary"

(inverted commas)

PS: check out the sept'07 onwards posts. sit back, smile/smirk/grin/roll your eyeballs/laugh/snigger. i couldn't believe what i wrote myself , but it was an awfully awkward yet sweet experience for me.

& keep it within dec'07 cos from dec'07 onwards there were just plain trash.

Rememberin'

Til' my body is dust
Til' my soul is no more
I will love you, love you

Til' the sun starts to cry
And the moon turns to rust
I will love you, love you

But I need to know,
will you stay for all Time...
forever and a day.
Then I'll give my heart,
'til the end of all Time...
forever and a day.

Til' the storms fill my eyes
And we touch the last time
I will love you, love you..

& i'll always remember you,
remember you...

KENRIC! 7:47 a.m. 29th September 2008.
* Fisher - I Will Love You

Rememberin' 29.9.07.

there was a little bit of my taste in your mouth
there was a little bit of me laced with your doubt
& it was a little hard to say what was going on....

i've stepped a little closer to you
So close that you couldn't see what was going on.

& the rest is history.

KENRIC! 3:55 a.m. 23rd September 2008.


Eagle Eye Cherry / Mindi Abair - Save Tonight

Go on and close the curtains
Cause all we need is candle light
You and me and a bottle of wine
Going to hold you tonight
Well we know I'm going away
And how I wish, I wish it weren't so
So take this wine and drink with me
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire
And it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
To take me away it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye
Darling please don't start to cry
Cause girl you know I've got to go, oh
Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I, that I could stay
Girl you know I've got to go, oh
Lord I wish it wasn't so

220.255.7.133 vs. 165.21.155.77

FELICIA :

THE "PASSERBY" IS ME. THE WHOEVER THAT CLAIMS TO BE passerby1 IS NOT ME!

DATE :
16 Sep 08 20:17 (220.255.7.133 )

AND

PASSERBY :

Takecare ya (:

DATE :
09 Sep 08 14:44 (220.255.7.133)

And so we have it.

FELICIA = PASSERBY.

FAT ASS MAPLE FREAK = PASSBY1

WOW, ARE MY EYES FOOLING ME?

ps : please stop making a fool of yourself? you're seriously a huge motherfucking joke. and don't get me wrong, i'm not even close to angry. you don't even know our ( not incl. you) conspiracy.

OH ! THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY BLOG LIVELY AGAIN. I WAS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS FOR MY POSTS MAN ! OH MY GOODNESS (:

PWNED YOUR MOTHERFUCKING DICK FACE.

( yea we all know that your first posting was on 13th sept, yea :)

passby1 :

you know you very cb.... your blog so boring..who are you to say people only know how to disturb people.. and chase gal also kanashit.... lamer... dun wan to see your blog liao bb....

Date & I.P address :
13 Sep 08 09:48 (165.21.155.77 )

The Expose :

Passer-by :

Haven you thought of not to smoke at later times of your life?

Date & I.P address :
10 Aug 08 11:31 (165.21.155.77 )

AND

Passer-by :

what do you want to be in the future?

Date & I.P address :
12 Aug 08 18:44 ( 165.21.155.77)

OMG THANK YOU CBOX I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. THE I.P. TRACKER IS SOOOOO SOOOOO HANDY TOO !!!! (((:

For The :

* POSSIBLY fat and ugly maple dude, i know the story.
i know what happened.
i know who you are.
and yes i know you're mentally challenged.

so why not i lend you my helping hand to do my part for this society?

NOT !

& yea.

are you some groupie of mine?

cos i didnt give a fuck about your equivalent of "academic progress" like asking " hey whats your maple level uh, so what if you're level (insert your level)".

huh? no ! i didnt. so whats the big deal about where im studying uh?

and nooo, i didnt beg for you to be addicted to my blog since i know its gonna be addictive.

cos somebody said " your blog so boring....." , " dun wan to see your blog liao bb...."

oh yea. the tagboard's there for everybody to see uh ((:

and so who's the motherfucking son of a siva guru chandran mutagan kalinatu pillay bin muthu arul shamugam thats been coming back over and over again? huh "passby1"? (f.y.i. : its a lame name)

you're seriously making yourself a joke. and frankly dude, if i were you i would've done what i said i'd do. cos if i didn't i'll just make myself look like a clown like you have done and would possibly continue doing.....SHEESH !

Sick for 1 week now.

1 week w/o updates. sweet.

V.V.V.V.V.

H.A.P.P.Y.

T.O.D.A.Y.

cos i've finally found something to do.

esplanade later with Hafiz & co. to catch The Analog Girl @ Baybeats (:

check out www.baybeats.com.sg for more info about the event and timeslots !

KENRIC! 5:58 p.m. 29th August 2008.

IN YOUR F*UCKING FACES !!!

KENRIC! 3:23 a.m. 28th August 2008.

* click to enlarge.

Stained Glass Masquerade.

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

KENRIC! 3:21 a.m. 24th August 2008.

*( Casting Crowns - Stained Glass Masquerade )

This the SEX !!!

(if you dont finish watching the video/listening to the song, you're a loser)

How do you spell :
CHI-BAI LAH !

&

Holidays F*ucking boring !!!

looking at the previous post, i've realised that my blogskin background is a very good canvas for me to add lots and lots of colours to my words and letters. hmmm, i shall try colouring my words more often ((:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
NOT !
(just joking)

KENRIC! 3:26 a.m. 20th August 2008.
* lame i know. but i can't help it either. i'm BORED !

BUT !!!

1/2 1/2

of of

me me

says says

PARTY EARN YOUR

TIME KEEP TIME

!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

whatever time it is,

there's always time for :

(insert suitable activity).

KENRIC! 3:19 a.m. 20th August 2008.

* its time i find something to keep me occupied.

irony is : a time to find an activity to occupy a time?

So, what's the price to pay for betraying nicotine?


Ask me.

KENRIC! 5:03 a.m. 19th August 2008.

When i Grow Up.

Now ive got a confession
When I was young I wanted attention
And I promised myself that I’d do anything
Anything at all for them to notice me
But I aint complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You don’t know what its like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
Cus see when I was younger I would say

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star,
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

When I grow up
Be on tv
People know me
Be on magazines

When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one dick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for cus you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it

( Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow up )

KENRIC! 12:16 a.m. 16th August 2008.
* 3 more days to end of exams (:

30% God's will. 70% Hardwork.

He spends his nights in california
Watching the stars on the big screen
Then he lies awake and he wonders
Why can’t that be me?
Cause in his life he’s filled with all these good intentions
He’s left a lot of things he’d rather not mention right now
Just before he says good night
He looks up with a little smile at me
And he says

If I could be like that
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes
If I could be like that
What would I do?
What would I do?

She spends her days up in the North Park
Watching the people as they pass
And all she wants is just a little piece of this dream
Is that too much to ask?
With a safe home
And a warm bed
On a quiet little street
All she wants is just that something to hold on to
That’s all she needs

If I could be like that I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes
If I could be like that
What would I do?
What would I do?

If I could be like that
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes
If I could be like that
What would I do?
What would I do?

KENRIC! 11:10 p.m. 12th August 2008.
* 3 doors down - Be Like That

Life, Death & Choices we make.

Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.
- Socrates

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
- Henry David Thoreau

My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
- Cary Grant

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
- Quentin Crisp

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".
- Erma Bombeck

No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow.
- Euripides

You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everybody dances with the Grim Reaper.
- Robert Alton Harris

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.
- Albert Pike

When you're dead, you're dead. That's it.
- Marlene Dietrich

Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are.
- Bertolt Brecht

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.
- Robert C. Gallagher

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
- Irene Peter

My mom has a good way of engaging me in a conversation about the choices I make, listening, being objective and open-minded, and respecting those choices so long as they don't put me in danger.
- Casey Affleck

It's all about being flexible, and avoiding choices whenever possible. Choices suck, they are inherently limiting.
- Craig Armstrong

Some choices we live not only once but a thousand times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives.
- Richard Bach

Sometimes its controversy, but we all have our choices that we make.
- Solomon Burke

I think we too often make choices based on the safety of cynicism, and what we're lead to is a life not fully lived. Cynicism is fear, and it's worse than fear - it's active disengagement.
- Ken Burns

But you've got to make choices, and you're not going to be right all the time.
- Earl Butz

No matter what your choices are, you truly have no control about what people think of you.
- Neve Campbell

As all human beings are, in my view, creatures of God's design, we must respect all other human beings. That does not mean I have to agree with their choices or agree with their opinions, but indeed I respect them as human beings.
- Stockwell Day

You are doomed to make choices. This is life's greatest paradox.
- Wayne Dyer

We seal our fate with the choices we take, but don't give a second thought to the chances we take.
- Gloria Estefan

Really, what are the options? Levi's or Wranglers. And you just pick one. It's one of those life choices.
- Harrison Ford

In the end, it all comes to choices to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
- Amber Frey

We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives.
- William Glasser

You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear.
- Sammy Davis, Jr.

It is our choices... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Behaviors are a choice. Feelings are sometimes out of our control. Behavior has to do with choices.
- Randall Terry

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
- Denis Waitley

KENRIC! 6:40 a.m. 10th August 2008.

* commitment vs. your fear.

Difference.

in today's world difference is something that is viewed as negative. however i view difference as something positive. and it is one of the reason why i love life.

negative thoughts are created when you see others being different from you, or yourself feeling negative because you're different from others.

i seriously hate it when people have no sense of originality and look down on their very own ideas. HELLO? when will be people ever start appreciating themselves? which is why nowadays we feel so sick walking on the streets cos everyone's wearing the same things, everyone's following the same trend.

let me ask a question, " would good be as good without bad?". "without ugly, would there be beauty?" , "without poor, would there be rich?"

so people are ass cracking try-hards that spoil the way nature is and im seriously pissed and disappointed with this world. no matter how hard to try to look rich, without money, you're poor. without the true beauty, whatever you don yourselves in, you're still the motherfucking ugly ass you are. what im pointing at is not about people being ugly. in fact, i only view people as "useful" an "useless" by the way they carry themselves. see whatever you try changing, deep down you can never ever change your heart, you brain. you are still who you are inside.

why people conform is most probably because they rather live life being who they're not then being who they are and being snubbed at. this is wrong! how can being yourself ever be outweighed than not being yourself? isn't it absurd? YOU decide how you wanna live your life, not living life because everyone else's doing it. if they say all men are equal, then it wouldnt be that equal if certain groups of people are considered the "leaders" and you being "follower" isnt it?

this is why we are all created different, and we should all stay diferent. this way we're not compromising on ourselves, neither are others treated superior than us.

lastly. i seriously HATE hype. and HYPE is created by such people, the "followers", "conformers", " copiers". because they are the people who catalyse the process of trends, they influence the people who are more firm to being themselves, to become a follower too. well if a trend is good, i dont see any harm in it, but behind everything, there is a purpose, before you follow any trend, any hype, just think of the purpose behind it. because in today's world they are all brainchilds of corporation masterminds whose only purpose is to benefit monetarily from the hype, the trends.

KENRIC! 12:38 a.m. 6th August 2008.

Afterlife.

Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen
so unsure but it seems, ’cause we’ve been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right
Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be
Arrived too early

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife

’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain
Can leave this place but refrain, ’cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)
No pain or sign of time (I’m much too young to fall)
So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign
I've made up my mind

Gave me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right

Loved ones back home all crying ’cause they're already missing me
I pray by the grace of God that there's somebody listening
Give me a chance to be that person I wanna be
(I am unbroken; I’m choking on this ecstasy)
Oh Lord I'll try so hard but you gotta let go of me
(Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live)

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right *

KENRIC! 12:19 a.m. 5th August 2008

* by A7X - Afterlife.

Trash.
( you probably wouldn't like what i say. so if you're not open minded, press alt-f4)


surprisingly the thing i love about secondary school is that it's filled with posers and wannabes.
kids who're so naive and all they know is to be a "follower".


never EVER conform.
hello? so whats so cool about having what everyone else has. whats so cool about jumping on the bandwagon of bgr. whom you'll end up heartbroken and realising that you've wasted all your time on somebody you thought you knew inside out, but time has exposed every single ugly fact about him/her.


girls, bitching about one another in class is the juiciest thing that keeps me awake.
guys talking about pretty girls just makes me roll my eyeballs, cos girls they talk about aren't so pretty afterall. and even if they are, their hearts are black and evil.


im not saying im the angel who's all perfect. i never was and i never aimed to be one. you see i've seen the beauty and the ugly of people, yet i still feel that there's more to that. what drives me isnt simply looking at their ugly sides, however its infering the motives and reasons behind them. believe me, they're far more hype-worthy than that"cute-korean-guys/hunks" or that "teen-pop-drama-queen".


girls bringing magazines to class, showing everyone what "i'm going to buy" and never end up buying them anyways. girls getting hyped over make-up but ended up making mess of their faces, simply makes me laugh in sheer triumph that my expectations were spot-on.


parents, teachers, friends, everyone around you. tells you " do well for your studies". well some just blindly follow and there goes the never ending race to be the "best". some end up losing all the fun of growing up. you've only got one life, have fun with it, NEVER be a mugger.


well i figured out that people don't see me the way i really am, some might even find me weird, well who gives the damn. cos millions of thoughts run through my mind while looking at them on one basic reason : " you pathetic kids who let others decide / influence how your life should flow"


sometimes i really wanna shut my mouth and keep my comments to myself. but who can resist the temptation to shoot my mouth off at the littlest things people do? well i've got a perfect example of a person who "allowed others decide how her life should flow"


well a straight A student. sounds nice. scored 6 pts. wow. went to a top jc, impressive. didn't know what she wanted in life. so followed her parents footsteps. interviewed to be a teacher. went to NIE. and eventually became a teacher, impressive. now almost thirty, single and probably never had a lover-boy. sees the other pretty teacher and then decides to be a follower and wants to look "pretty". makeover, cool. contact lenses, amazing. starts to wear dresses, not bad. but however pretty she might have turned out (it didn't turn out good in fact) she'll always be labelled as a "follower". you think she'd wanted to dress up and all if not for following the other "pretty" teacher? awww, now you wanna tell me how i should run my life when your life's a complete "factory product"?


well so let me say. choose the right people you wanna hear advises from. if you've got such a teacher, obviously you wouldn't wanna hear advises from that hag-to-be. simply let her teach whatever she subject is, but not let her tell you what to do with your life. simple.


so what if you do well in studies, land a stable job? ask yourself, is your life even fun? is it even worth a best-seller if it was written into a novel? well you might say i'm just a 17 year old whose not been thru that. thats true, but at least i've got this idea of "who-i-wanna-be" and "who-i-dont-wanna-be", rather than your "what-daddy-&-mommy-wants-me-to-be" and "what-society-thinks-i-should-be" mentality ! HAHA!


well you can argue "wait! i know what i want to be!". then ask yourself again " did i want to be that because daddy/mommy/uncle/aunty/society said its good?" or simply because the monetary pay-outs are good. id say shallow, simply shallow. superbly shallow. well then again would you wanna do something that pays yet you wake up each day asking yourselves "is this what i really want?" so another advise is : put money aside, think about what you love to be.


you can say this isn't realistic. fine. then i ask you, are we going to bring our money to our deathbeds? well i rather live poor than being haunted by the thinking that "is this what i really want?" and c'mon NOBODY in our times would still choose to be a road-sweeper, toilet-cleaner, money aside. they still wouldnt choose that, so give it a try and ask yourselves today "who i wanna be" and "who i dont wanna be", with a secondary thinking that you wouldn't regret doing it. and isnt it more rewarding and fufilling to be doing what you love, and at the same time strike rich doing it? (again money secondary). why for do you need lavish lives? i only need one that could get me by, as long as i'm happy, as long a i don't regret what i do.


KENRIC! 2:15 a.m. 31st July 2008.
* life filled with regrets is more likely due to you doing what others think you should do. while life filled without regrets is doing what you think you should do. ( without compromising morals and laws)

Secondary School Life : Revisited.

Firstly, i came from a humble neighbourhood school : Unity Secondary.

Secondly, i didn't score well enough in my PSLE to enter the school.

I spent my first two weeks of school in Regent Secondary, one hell of a place you won't wanna be in if you wanna get serious about studies. Then the office called me in one day and i was greeted by my mother saying "Unity has a vacancy". (the reason i managed to get the transfer was because i was a basketball player)

so on such short notice, but with much enthusiasm, i attended unity secondary the very next day. it was hard getting used, considering the fact that everyone has been there for 2 weeks while i'm just somebody who came out of nowhere.

but kenric pulled thru secondary one, despite the fact that he is LAST position of the whole cohort at the start of the year, but came up somewhere 70th/201 people. well i really wonder : what were the other 130 people behind me thinking? hello Number 201 became your 70 in one year? not just that, 4th placing in class, 2 good improvement awards, 1 eagles award. hows that for a PSLE 212 (my score) compared to the worst of 219?

yea this went on for secondary two, but something happened at the very end of secondary two, well kenric missed his last two papers : maths and science cos he got into trouble with the law. got locked up, charged, and slammed with a sentence to serve. so when sec3 started, things didn't go so well, and basketball: he gave up on it. then his grades slipped, slipped and slipped. and at the end of sec3 i could say my rankings fell to 120/190 or so?

BUT WHO CARES? HELLO? cos mister who slept thru secondary school life eventually got BETTER results than you muggers. so EAT this.

so at mid years secondary4, guess what? i was still at 109/188. attendance 177/190. class position 29/41. BUT did all these matter? all i had to do was to do what wasn't expected of me at the papers which meant everything. that the O's. fuck CA1, fuck class tests, fuck homework, fuck prelims, fuck CA2, fuck mid-years. lastly, fuck the people who thought you wouldn't pull through. some examples were : big brother Kevin ( dude i did better than you so EAT this), mmm and several other people which i don't think is appropriate to mention.

Special thanks to teachers like :

Mr Ak Teoh (basketball) : for givin lots of encouragement

Miss Patricia Koh (history) : for being a good teacher who made history so interesting.

Mrs Quah (chemistry) : for pushing everyone to do well

Mr Chew (discipline) : for guiding me along the way

Mrs Lum / Tay (sec1&2 teacher) : for believing in me

Chen Lao Shi : ( she got me from chinese failure to A2 at prelims) + making chinese fun ( tho i still hate it)

Ms Lee FS (ss/geography) : for making ss/geog so fun and your constant encouragement

Mr Ng (english) : for being a smart aleck always thought your english was all that good. and i got the A with my own effort, nothing came from you.

so here are some statistics.

History : i ever scored 28/100, But at o's A.

English : always been my baby.

Geography : hated it and sucked at it, But at o's A.

Maths and Science : had sucked all along with numbers.

Chinese : all time most hated subject.

sum all these up you still got yourself an 11 pointer.

and regarding my cca basketball, it was a sport i picked up at a very young age, 6 to be exact.

gold medals and trophies never stopped coming in till 14 when i quit the game. learned lots of things on this sport, teamwork, discipline, perseverance, etc. oh yes, did i tell you i own at long distance races?

well it was also at this place where i got to know friends whom i know will be there for me when i need em. it was also the founding place of PPHC. what more can i ask for?

one advice. kenric : " Always have faith in yourselves, believe, take risks, never let others push you around. aim to make your parents proud. constantly ask yourselves ' who do i wanna be 20 years down the road' and keep working towards making sure you don't turn out into something else. and even if you eventually fail, well at least you're somewhere close."

KENRIC! 11:43 p.m. 30th July 2008

* 20, Choa Chu Kang St. 62. 2004-2007.

While National Day's round the corner.....

its 2008 hello?
see what we've done with 43 years!

i'd do a follow up post when the big day approaches.
and while people look forward to the olympics,
i anticipate our nation's birthday more eagerly than just the olympics
(even though i do anticipate for the olympic games)

and i hereby declare,
I'm Proud to be Singaporean.

KENRIC! 2:16 a.m. 30th July 2008.
* livin' the Singaporean Dream.

almost 10 Years,
can you believe it?



neither can i....
i seldom dedicate any post for anyone but harro?
mister up there has known me for 10 years !


i'm ferry ferry happy cos knowing him for so-so many years,
he has finally has shown the heart for his studies.


& of cos finally approached me to help him :D
in the past i used to persuade him to study, study,
or at least think about his future.


but nope, i always get scolded / given negative replies till i've given up on asking.....
so can you believe how happy i was when he's decided that he wanna do well.....
finally decided that he wants a future which he can work towards to ?


yea, so here's to you bro.
hope that you don't give up.
& im not just hoping that you'll do well,
i'm sure, damn sure that if you continue at this pace, you're going to do well.


KENRIC! 12:31 a.m. 24th July 2008.


There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all


But of all these friends and lovers, There is no one compares with you

i've finally understood what you meant when you said that you want it all, or nothing at all.

KENRIC! 12:39 a.m. 22nd July 2008

why am i running away?

cos they're still sick asses who likes to fan the dust and say senseless things.

ok please & hello?

it was by human nature and basic survival practice to pick yourself up after some asshole screwed things up isn't it? do people still have to dig up the shit and hope that this asshole would be ashamed of himself/herself? no !

in fact if i was that asshole, IF was was that asshole. i would seriously do what i'm doing right now. voicing myself out at my very own "freedom of speech" corner (blogger). and if facts prove that i'm that asshole, i wouldn't be STILL ashamed of myself.

so tell me people, are you admiring how i'm picking myself after some other sick ass is trying to screw me? frankly you dont have to, cos you can do it too.

FUCK YOU ! .....

now pick yourself up.

now tell me, how natural was that?

Midnight Hour - Running Away

Don't lie and say that it's ok
It's alright here, there's nothing more to say.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

Don't tell me I'm the one to blame.
It's too late for you to make me stay.
No, I won't stay.
So I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place.
And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving
Yeah I'm leaving today.
And I, I'll never let you find me.
I'm leaving you behind with the past
No, I won't look back.
And I don't want to hear your reasons.
Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay.

And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

KENRIC! 1:09 a.m. 18th July 2008.

& As I Recall ....

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
Still I can't say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

Quotes I Find Interesting / Somewhat agree with :

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. - Bill Gates

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Life is not fair; get used to it. - Bill Gates

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose. - Bill Gates

I'm not out there sweating for three hours every day just to find out what it feels like to sweat. - Michael Jordan

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen. - Michael Jordan

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. - Kurt Cobain

I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature. - Adolf Hitler

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

A single death is a tragedy, are million deaths is a statistic. - Joseph Stalin

When we hang the capitalists they will sell us the rope we use. - Joseph Stalin

And the things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those that got there first. - Steven Tyler

Fake it until you make it. - Steven Tyler

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark? - Steven Spielberg

I'd like to believe that the women who wear my clothes are not dressing for other people, that they're wearing what they like and what suits them. It's not a status thing. - Marc Jacobs

It just seemed too weird to me. I don't know, maybe they were smoking a joint in the car downstairs from their parents' apartment. I had to go that far to put together a scenario of how they could have possibly recognized me. - Marc Jacobs

For all you "ahlians" or teenage crack-whores who didn't know who's marc jacobs, you probably got your LV because everyone else's doing it. - KENRIC.

Ideas that shape me :

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. - Albert Einstein

I guess I've always lived the glamorous life of a star. It 's nothing new-I used to spend down to the last dime. - Freddie Mercury

I won't be a rock star. I will be a legend. - Freddie Mercury

Money may not buy happiness, but it can damn well give it! - Freddie Mercury

Who wants to live forever? - Freddie Mercury

Music doesn't lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music. - Jimi Hendrix

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. - Henry Van Dyke

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. - Mother Teresa

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon Bonaparte

We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it. - John F. Kennedy

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. - John Lennon

Guilt for being rich, and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough and you have to go and get shot or something. - John Lennon

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace. - John Lennon

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. - John Lennon

If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian. - Paul McCartney

In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make - Paul McCartney

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. - Marilyn Monroe

KENRIC! 12:14 p.m. 10th July 2007.
* check back for more of these quotes :D

I dont like my life to be like a routine, repeated over and over everyday.

now life's like this.

but i like it the way it is and i enjoy my life all the same.

cos without these sucky moments,

there wouldn't be those kick-ass, rock n roll moments that we either await/pursue.

Something abt me :
what you percieve about me will probably be directly inverse to the actual me.

I might look satisfied on the outside, but i'm totally unsatisfied on the inside.
I might look unsatisfied on the inside, but i'm totally satisfied on the outside.

this can be applied to almost any aspect in my life. confusing? no?

KENRIC! 11:06p.m. 7th July 2008.

& i actually remember what happened exactly a year ago ! omg 7-7-07 !

Sounds Familiar?

I found the phone
I must've missed your message
You got it wrong, It wasn't what your friend said.
Tell by your tone, I've taken it too far again.
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.

Your friends are telling you, You gotta move on.
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long.
I don't know why i ever waited to say.
Cuz I'm just dying just to see you again .

Instead of holding you, I was holding out.
I should've let you in, but I let you down.
You were the first to give ,I was the first to ask.
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance.

I should've known, took you and I for granted
Gotta let you know, I was never underhanded.
Tell by your tone, I've taken it too far again.
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.

My friends are telling me they saw you with someone.
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long.
I don't know why i ever waited to say.
Cuz I'm just dying just to see you again .

My last mistake, putting my friends first.
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse.
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask.
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance.

What you give is always what you get.
There's so much I haven't given yet.
If you could give another second chance.
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.

KENRIC! 7:52p.m. 2nd July 2008.

* familiar sibo?

Kenric wants to be smoke free.

KENRIC! 4:23p.m. 2nd July 2008

for once in a very long time, i finally felt liberated.
liberation from guilt.
i thought i had ruined the image of something so beautiful,
just because i was an asshole.

but now that it isn't already so.
i'm contended. i don't need forgiveness.

KENRIC! 1:39p.m. 2nd July 2008.

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay

cos You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely